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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between love, pure love and excessive love? Blowing Swallowing Gargeling"
Next Joke
"want a brand new identity when you go back to school? why not change your name to 'Bird Christmas' or 'Crisp Terdass'"
"I still remember what my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. ""I wonder how far I can kick this bucket"""
"Rioters are breaking into antique music stores across the country damn Luters."
"[hanging out w mob] ""Tony sleeps with the fishes"" *they all laugh* [self conscious about my sexual habits w fish]: its not a big deal guys"
"I added someone as a friend 2 years ago but they haven't responded. They must be really busy."
"This map of Africa is so authentic, it has no borders, it just says ""Hey guys, can someone fucking help us?"" across the entire thing."
"Look, no hands! The worst thing you could hear during a prostate exam."
"me: wow the stars are beautiful gf: omg babe they really are me: u know who else is beautiful? gf: *blushes* who? :3 me: Harambe"
"Sometimes I like to sit on the floor, bring my knees up to my chest and then lean forward. But that's just how I roll."