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Joke of the Day
"Rioters are breaking into antique music stores across the country damn Luters."
Next Joke
"What do you call Santa's wife? Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out."
"I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed."
"lifeguard: can you describe the thing that touched you? me: yea...it was like a wet wind chime made out of wieners lifeguard: a squid?"
"Being Santa sounds easy... (NSFW) I've got plenty of experience emptying my sack into socks."
"The doctor told me I only had 2 years to live so I shot him The judge gave me 30 years."
"[tied up by the mafia] any last requests? ""yes, let me go"" [still gets killed despite finding a loophole cuz the mafia arent very nice]"
"Teacher: All Idiots Stand Up A boy stand up Teacher: so are you an idiot ? Boy: No I can't bear you standing alone madam..."
"I only had 3 goals in Monopoly as a kid: Dog game piece Boardwalk and Park Place. Steal your money when you go to the bathroom."
"Jokes about women's menstruation aren't funny. Period."