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Joke of the Day

"If you dont sin, Jesus died for nothing!"

"I recently broke up with my mobster boyfriend... Turns out he was sleeping with the fishes."

"I like my women like I like my cellphone plan... Free on nights and weekends."

"What do Bristol Palin and Iraq have in common? It's just so hard to pull out."

"Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us."

"Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant? She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed."

"Who has more sense a woman or a wall? The wall. It knows how to keep its mouth shut, do its job, stay fuckin put!"

"My doctor told me I suffer from Anorexia... ... like it's not enough that I'm fat."

"With all of this technology, you would think we would have exercise equipment that simulated scenes from Jurassic Park to actually motivate my ass to run."

"I might have Alzheimer's... But at least I don't have Alzheimer's."