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Joke of the Day

"I usually spend my Sundays texting apologies but I've had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do."

"Did you know John Travolta's home has an airport in it? Too bad, he got the bomb detecting dogs about 7 movies too late."

"Confucius say... French girl high maintenance. Chinese girl Lo Mein-tenance."

"Peterpan Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands. I love this joke because it never grows old."

"Why don't pirates drive on mountain roads? 'Scurvy"

"I've just won the 2013 'Most secretive person' award. I can't tell you how much it means to me."

"Dirty joke told to me by an old man (NSFW) What does 70 year old pussy taste like? Depends Sorry if this is a repost."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""see you next month"""

"Having sex while drunk is like trying to pierce a Capri Sun with an earthworm"

"Hey yoda... Are we in the right way? -Off course we are. -All right. KEEP GOING IN THIS WAY."