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Joke of the Day

"Dirty joke told to me by an old man (NSFW) What does 70 year old pussy taste like? Depends Sorry if this is a repost."

"5-year-old daughter: I don't like my princess shoes with the heels. Me: Do they hurt your feet? 5-year-old: I can't run from zombies."

"I would love to insult you... but that would be beyond the level of your intelligence."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba-dum tss"

"""Hello 911?"" ""Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I'll hold."""

"A miracle birth, then resurrection. Accept Frosty the Snowman as your personal savior."

"Why doesn't Ellen have a cooking segment? She's always eating out"

"Why are artificial eyes made from glass? They gotta be see-through"

"Pupil: Sir would you mind e-mailing my exam results to my parents? Teacher: But your parents don't have a comuter. Pupil: Exactly!"

"I date men whom have their life paths laid out firmly and don't waver. Yes, their paths are Psycho and Socio, but consistency is admirable."