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Joke of the Day

"people who say ""guess what"" and make you actually guess make me want to die"

"Every time I'm the only black person at a party I think: ""Wow. I helped them make quota."""

"What's the heaviest soup? One ton soup."

"A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop."

"Me: Sometimes I think I have more imaginary conversations than real ones. Scarlett Johansson: That's very interesting."

"Someone once told me my best features were my smile and personality If I don't have a mouth I'm fucked"

"Donald Trump sure likes making fun of boxing. What with all the lightweight insults"

"What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive? THESE are the brakes!"

"You didn't even notice that I had 1/8 of an inch cut off of my hair! - women"

"What do you call breakfast? Breaking fast yooo!"