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Joke of the Day

"A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop."

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"You really only have 2 options: 1. You can be miserable bc you're fat 2. You can be miserable bc you're hungry"
"What do Jews drive? A hard bargain"
"The other day my daughter said, ""Mold is so gross."" I told her to ""respect its culture."""
"what sex position produces the ugliest children? ask your parents"
"What is a Christians Favorite Insect? The Praying Mantis"
"I don't call photos of myself ""selfies"". I call photos that include anyone else ""otheries""."
"Why did the bees go on strike ? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !"
"I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector... ...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."
"Doctor, Doctor, I'm addicted to twitter... Sorry, I don't follow you."