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Joke of the Day

"[Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' ""That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired"" [later googling Sextuple] ""Omg that's genius"""

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Donald Trump."

"BOSS: quit listening to Vanilla Ice, participate in the meeting, and pay attention ME: so... stop, collaborate, and listen? BOSS: you're fired"

"A roasted peanut is a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts."

"My sense of humor is so dark... ... one of these days it's going to get shot by the police."

"What do you tell a gardener with a psych major? I fucking hate my mom."

"What did Palpatine order in the drive thru? Friiiiiiies"

"""I might be a sex virgin but I'm not a virgin at AWESOME MAGIC TRICKS!"" *trips on cape, knocks over table with punchbowl & cookies*"

"Did you hear about the awesome new Corey Hart cover of Sunglasses at Night? By Stevie Wonder."

"What do you think of Dracula films? Fangtastic!"