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Joke of the Day

"What did Palpatine order in the drive thru? Friiiiiiies"

"I'm surprised that the UK left the EU by voting. Most of the time they leave on penalty kicks."

"*loses beer *opens new beer *finds old beer *drinks 2 beers I win"

"When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts."

"Why do nice guys always finish last? Because their girlfriends always cum first."

"Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached? Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs? Or crapperjoels?"

"Who is 50 feet tall, has a blue ox and kills co-eds? Ted Bunyan."

"How many teenage girls does it take to screw..... in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it up as the whole world revolves around her."

"Nostalgic grandpa A grandfather to his grandson: when i was you age id grab $5 and get groceries for the entire week. The grandson: We can't do that now grandpa..they have cameras installed."

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant Me: You gotta be joking! Her: No, I'm serious! Me: Hi, Serious! I'm dad."