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Joke of the Day

"Life sucks, I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like."

"Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments? Because they were for test porpoise only"

"I'll be getting a 4.0 this semester... When a girl rates me out of 10"

"Key ring A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once."

"Being a vegan makes no sence. My food is vegan so I dont have to be. Edit: Sense"

"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar It was tense"

"Electing Trump would really strengthen our dollar Sincerely, Canada"

"What is a Sloth's favorite breakfast food? Slothages."

"A priest, rapist, and pedophile walk into a bar He orders a drink."

"A guy calls his local butchery... - Do you have chicken paws? - Yes - Do you have chicken wings? - Yes, I do - Do you have pig's head? - Sure - You must look really funny then"