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Joke of the Day

"Life sucks, I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like."

"What do you call an antelope that's really bad at being an antelope? A cantelope."

"TIME TO RETIRE Q: WHEN DOES A PROSTITUTE KNOW IT TIME TO RETIRE? A: WHEN SHE CAN NO LONGER HIDE THE STRETCHMARKS AROUND HER LIPS."

"What did one leper say to another? Got yer nose!"

"Trump Tower and Michael Phelps Between Michael Phelps and Trump Tower, it has been the biggest week for suction cups in the history of mankind."

"What Movie does Hillary Watch when she's in a Bad Mood..? Kill Bill."

"Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly? Because they were Wright."

"Why are fruit fetishists never alone? Because they cum in pears."

"What's a turtle's favorite type of shoe? Green clog. (looks almost like a turtle shell)"

"I was gonna tell you guys a gay joke... ...butt fuck it"