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Joke of the Day
"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar It was tense"
Next Joke
"This one time I was hit on by Anthony Kiedis. I only had two options, either give it away... or flea"
"A guy with a wooden eyeball is self conscious... ...so he asks the homeliest girl at the ball if she would like to dance. She looks him straight in the face and says ""would I?!"""
"What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night? Piratechnics!"
"What do the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presidential race have in common? Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified."
"*gives gf a small gift wrapped box* ""aww what's this, youre so sweet"" *opens it* ""wait, is this my toothbrush?"" YOU DONT LIVE HERE KAREN"
"Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out."
"I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire."
"Only 90s kids will get this: slavery. (1790s)"
"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!"