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Joke of the Day

"I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you."

"Why are there so few black hockey players? Because there was no cotton in Canada."

"What does December have that other months dont have? The letter D."

"What do you call a redneck virgin? A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers"

"Like I was telling my friends, my wife walked into a door. and that pissed me off so I hit her."

"What do you call a potato that looks like Hitler? A dick-tator."

"What is a cardiologists favorite wine Vena Cava"

"If you know the thread count on your bed sheets we're in different tax brackets."

"Personal space is a concept I did not understand in Kindergarten I guess that's why they fired me."

"What is a monkeys favorite candy? Rhesus species"