26602

Joke of the Day

"Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don't get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case..."

"May you always be the one looking confused standing in the back of a group selfie"

"If these celebrity stints in rehab were any shorter, they'd be drive-thrus."

"My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy."

"I went to a party dressed as a loaf of bread. The birds were all over me."

"Twins Yesterday, I was hanging out with my girlfriend when her identical twin sister walked by. Then my girlfriend asked me, ""Do you think my sister is pretty?"""

"Everyone has a best friend who's mom they've wanted to fuck I like to think of my older brother as my best friend"

"*in the back of a police car* can ya'll hand me the aux cord?"

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts..."

"Was forced to have a threesome with a clown and a grizzly. Just had to grin and bear it."