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Joke of the Day
"I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking."
Next Joke
"These Egyptian fireworks are nice. Oh wait, they are planes."
"You guys like jokes I hear, I got a joke for you. Women's rights...."
"Why did the tomato blush when it saw the salad dressing? It was embarrassed."
"Why didn't Lebron go to college? he didn't want to show up for the finals"
"KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub."
"The future The world in 10 years... MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100... Band leader: I'm sorry did you just assume our genre?"
"Where do cheeses go to the bathroom? In a Parma-John."
"[girl chatting up guy at bar] girl: so what do you do? magician: i halve a girlfriend"
"Whats the difference between Gabrielle Giffords and her husband....... Her husband flies in a bullet whereas bullets fly in to her.... too soon?"