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Joke of the Day

"Why did the tomato blush when it saw the salad dressing? It was embarrassed."

"I just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world I told them to fuck off. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving."

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"

"I'll tell you what I know about dwarves Very little. I can say that. They look up to me."

"Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like ""Please don't stay long!"" or ""I hope you brought booze."""

"A fava bean was playing near a meat grinder Then his mother came and said, ""Stop that! You're making a foule out of yourself!"""

"Why do we cry..... When it's the onions that are being hurt?"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"My brother's dying wish was to get a joke into the front page of reddit But it seems rude to post a photo of him now that he's dead."

"ME: I've expressed this political opinion so clearly, there's no way anyone could misinterpret it. THE INTERNET: lmao challenge accepted"