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Joke of the Day

"Every dessert is guilt-free if you're a sociopath"

"What was the parrot doing in prison ? It was a jail-bird !"

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!"

"What did the corn say when it was complemented? Aww, shucks!"

"I wish I was an elevator... Because maybe then my wife would go down on me :c"

"I think it's odd that you can buy binoculars, but no heteronoculars, homonoculars nor transnoculars."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Not too hot. That way I can stick my dick in em."

"I consider myself somewhat of a pussy magnet... ...I just need to learn how to change the polarity."

"My friend asked me... My friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said wtf man it's 2016 you can use whatever printer you want"

"""I am not a human garbage disposal"" *eats leftover mac n cheese anyway* *makes terrible grinding noise after accidentally swallowing fork*"