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Joke of the Day

"Why is the stick attached to the roof? Because it is sticky."

"why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway"

"Drugs are really bad for your mind. All these years I thought I worked in an office, but it turns out I'm actually a centaur."

"Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down."

"What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef? **FILET MIGNON!**"

"Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs? She had to call an eggs-terminator!"

"What does a Pirate say on his Eightieth birthday? AYE MATEY!"

"Why was the powerful Jedi a terrible comedian? Too *forced*, his punchlines were"

"[texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)"

"When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's ""art"" and ""music"" , but when I do it I'm ""wasted"" and ""have to leave the Hardware Store"""