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Joke of the Day

"Me? Just throwing magnets at strangers in the park to try to expose robots."

"So since Donnie Yen is in the new Star Wars Rogue Squadron movie... Will his ship be called the X-Wing Chun?"

"My son asked me to explain women to him so I told him we'd go to lunch and talk about it, then spent the next 3 hours getting dressed."

"What are baby witches called? Halloweenies."

"Instead of a flower girl, I want a parmesan boy to sprinkle cheese down the aisle at my wedding"

"I have this theory that McDonald's hamburgers are actually made out of their employees. That's why they're always hiring."

"There is a big difference between hating you and losing respect for you."

"I've only just realised that Saturday contains the word 'turd'. How marvelous."

"A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop... He says: You were going 95km/h. The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour."

"Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show? They were all Nervous-Rex"