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Joke of the Day

"I wrote a play on my computer It's a play on word"

"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul. Heard it on ""The Forbidden Room"" on Netflix"

"What do bears in Mexico eat? The same shit as all the other bears. What? Were you expecting a pun?"

"There's no ""u"" in employee. You're fired."

"Someone invented a yoga mat that rolls itself. If that person reads this tweet, I have a fitted sheet I'd like for you to look at."

"""You ask."" ""No, you ask!"" ""Will you please ask?"" ""Why can't you ask?"" ""Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"""

"One hair in my soup Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!"

"Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car in Los Angeles this morning. To be fair, the driver had just watched Four Christmases."

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race."

"So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything."