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Joke of the Day

"""You ask."" ""No, you ask!"" ""Will you please ask?"" ""Why can't you ask?"" ""Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"""

"I like my rum like I like my women Twelve years old and mixed up with Coke."

"opening a deli called ""Work"" a steakhouse caled ""The Gym"" adn a fried chicken place caled ""A Funeral"" for ppl who like to eat & need excuses"

"Husband (right before going to bed): ""Baby here is the aspirin for your headache"". Wife: ""But I dont have any headaches"" Husband: Gotcha!"

"A Sinking Boat Clinton, Nixon, and Reagan were on a sinking Boat. Reagan: Women & Children go first Nixon: Fuck the Women! Clinton: You think we have time?"

"*Takes your face in my hands* *Looks deep into your eyes* *Whispers ""You make me want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you"" *"

"Did you hear about the guy who blew his entire lottery winnings on a limousine? He had nothing left to chauffeur it."

"I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extreme handicapped. I'm calling it ""Fruits and Vegetables"""

"How can you tell if Hillary Clinton is lying? She's moving her lips."

"Police officer: Have you had anything to drink? Me:No PO:Ok, blow into here Me:But there are no candles PO:Ma'am please get out of the car"