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Joke of the Day

"Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists."

"What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."

"Why'd the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."

"My coworkers think it's funny they have power & I don't. I think it's funny how they won't get home to enjoy it cuz their tires are slashed."

"Barista: got a latte for ""Batman""! Is there a ""Batman"" here? *everyone looks at me* Me [dressed as Batman]: that's not me, my name is Jack"

"I bought a chilli dog and a thumb drive at a gas station... Ya know, for shits and gigs."

"Me: Table for one, please. Waiter: Would you like to see the men-- Me: YES."

"Bet they weed out lots of people at big city detective school in the jump off building/land on roof of another building class."

"what do you call a pissed off group of door handles? An angry knob"

"Climate change is such a joke... Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up."