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Joke of the Day

"We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail, and I was, like, ""Good for him."""

"IDGAF if you're black, white, yellow, brown or blue. Well, I do if you're blue, I'll stop and give you CPR if you're blue."

"What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?"

"Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad? I suppose it's pastable."

"I thought by this point in my life I would know what to do with my arms when I sleep, but nope, still confused."

"9 out of every 3 people suffer from math illiteracy."

"What can you put at the end of a sentence, to make it funnier? The punchline."

"The hands that help others in need are holier than the lips that pray."

"They told me that finishing last in the marathon is nothing to be ashamed of. Its completing the event that's important. Nevertheless, that didn't make my gangbang experience any better."

"Two lorry's crashed into each other, one containing terrapins the other containing tortoises... It was a turtle disaster."