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Joke of the Day

"When I found out my girlfriend was having a baby my life really changed. specifically my name, address and phone number."

"When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery."

"What's difference between Caitlyn Jenner and Kim Kardashian? (Offensive) Nothing, both women got famous by making a dick disappear."

"As a Jew, I love bagels... They're one of the holeyest foods."

"This sushi restaurant has the worst service ever. ""Sir, this is an aquarium."""

"What Will Mexico's National Sport Become if Trump Is Elected? Pole Vaulting"

"Looking forward to Monday? You're married"

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the P is silent!"

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool"""

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."