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Joke of the Day

"As a Jew, I love bagels... They're one of the holeyest foods."

"I have a Pakistani girl friend. Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops."

"The pope just pooped Holy shit"

"What's Hitlers least favorite planet? Jewpiter."

"When is a door NOT a door? When it's ajar."

"Him: So what do you do? Me (hoping to save up for some bushes at the edge of my property): I run a hedge fund."

"Tony the Tiger knows that Chuck Norris is G-R-E-A-T!"

"It was just a homeless man defecating in an elevator, but that's when the real shit went down."

"Q. What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg? A. Limp Bizkit. (limp biscuit) (Alternate: What do the British call a cookie that got wet?)"

"After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward."