2042

Joke of the Day

"A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today. My maternal instincts have never been so confused."

"79 million people are without access to drinkable water Though on the bright side, the number is decreasing!"

"Kim Khardasian and Kanye West named their children North West and Saint West. But to prove I'm a worse parent... I plan on naming my children...Kim Khardashian and Kanye West"

"Documentaries not only expand my world views, but also compel me to change my behavior for a solid 24-36 hours."

"Why was six afraid of the rhetorical question?"

"Secretly hoping my ex will call or text one day, just so I can reply, 'Who's this?'"

"What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? It made him wed his plants! "

"Why couldn't the radish finish the race? He was just a little beet."

"I am an actual real house cat. After I take a bong-hit I SWEAR I can type in English for about 60 secmeow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow"

"Sure... when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's ""sexy"" and ""art"" But when I do it I'm ""drunk"" and need to ""get out of Home Depot"""