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Joke of the Day

"Everybody is trying to make Harambe jokes, and they are all really bad... But I'm going to take a shot at it."

"There's an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn't just hard it's impossible."

"Never underestimate an underachiever. We're capable of less than you think."

"What's the best thing about a hooker dying on you? Second hour is free."

"What do I have that FC Barcelona doesn't? A semi"

"A man asked me how easy it was to contract HIV... I handed him an address and told him to stop by after dusk with a casque of Cognac and ask for the Honeybadger."

"Two people who really hate each other can suddenly really like each other if they can find someone else they can both really hate together."

"Fact: Fat people falling down is always funnier than a skinny person falling down."

"Who's gonna be the next queen of R&B? I don't know yet but she's gonna be Beyondce!"

"What rhymes with ""hug me""? Chutney."