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Joke of the Day

"Look UPS guy, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to have pants on."

"A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"why did helen keller masturbate with one hand? so she could moan with the other..."

"What do you call Batman skipping out on church? Christian Bail"

"Did you hear about that car that runs on seafood? I heard it's very efishient"

"SHHHHH!!!!!!! I just got followed by a Jehovah Witness. All of you keep quiet and pretend we aren't home..."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world... People who can read binary and those who can't."

"looks like our killer left his calling card. 5 cents/min to canada, 7c/min to puerto rico. he knows what he's doing."

"A guy waved at me and ran over the other day... He said ""oh sorry I thought you were someone else!"" I said, ""I am"" -Demetri Martin"

"What's a four letter word for ""a butt load of fun""? Anal"