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Joke of the Day

"SHHHHH!!!!!!! I just got followed by a Jehovah Witness. All of you keep quiet and pretend we aren't home..."

"The truth You'll never see a church with free wifi. I guess it's because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works"

"If I ever go missing... I would like my photo but on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know where to look for me."

"without moms we'd have no password security questions. thanks mom, for making online banking possible"

"What do you call a burial chamber full of Moose? Moosoleum."

"Catch 22: Husband said if I quit Twitter he would pay for a boob job. But if I had huge jugs I would get tons of new followers. Sigh."

"[MEGATHREAD] The Post Formerly Known as Prince Since he's gone."

"Life is all about perspective The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure"

"The hot blonde walked up to the bartender and asked for a double entendre... The bartender gave it to her."