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Joke of the Day

"My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport."

"What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said ""Darling you've got lovely teeth."""

"just said ""Deep Homo"" by accident instead of ""Home Depot"" & am tryingnto laugh it off oops they're watching me tweet now gotta go"

"I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed"

"WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test. Turns out, it's cancer."

"How do secret agents complement a disguise? ""Hey James, that disguise is incogNEATo!"""

"Sooo when my husband became a pool man I really thought the sex would get immediately better"

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give the bitch a shovel."

"The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"My walk of shame is when i'm going home from an Adam Sandler movie."