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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time I said a racist comment, I would have 0 dollars Because some black guy would have robbed me"

"Adolf Hitler once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place The Germans replied ""No, it's hail Hitler"""

"If you stand for nothing you'll fall for anyone who offers you a chair because standing is fucking exhausting."

"How is the elevator business? Oh, it has its up and downs..."

"A son comes to his grandpa.. ... And asks him ""Grandpa, how comes all girls still like you?"" ""Eh, eh, my lil' son..."", said the old man licking his eyebrow"

"What do you call a clever pig? Cunningham"

"*attempts seductive selfie in bed *drops phone on face *chips tooth"

"I'm not into phone sex, the cord always gets stuck in my ass."

"Never have I ever... rushed out of my house pretending I had to be somewhere & drove around neighborhood to get somebody to leave."

"Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad."