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Joke of the Day

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones."

"Proud father... I'm really proud of my daughter. She's taken her new vegetable diet very well. Just last night I found a cucumber in her room."

"Word of advice: dont bother buying toilet paper marketed under the name of Chuck Norris... It's rough, tough, and doesn't take shit from anyone."

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because its the scenter."

"What car does Luke Skywalker drive? A Toyoda"

"The news from Australia yesterday was terrifying That poor Muslim guy, I'd hate to be trapped in a room full of Australians too."

"My father never hit me. But when I was bad, he would take off his belt... And then he'd take off his pants."

"- Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?"

"I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey."

"Where the most likely place to find a crack whore? Between a rock and a hard place."