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Joke of the Day

"Just got a booty call from life, apparently it still wants to keep fucking me."

"ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon"

"What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Cell phones."

"If you type in ""google"" in google search, it shows you pictures of your grandkids"

"Why did the console peasant cross the street? To render the building on the other side!"

"BEST ADVICE: Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them."

"I would make an economics joke But there's no demand"

"Why didn't The African go to the classical music event? He was a baroque ass' negro"

"In 21st century Deleting history is more important than making history"

"JESUS: I shall turn water to wine JUDAS: Actually wine is 85% water so that's only 15% miracle JESUS: This is literally the WORST betrayal"