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Joke of the Day

"What's grey and comes in pints? An Elephant."

"We shouldn't point out other people's grammar mistakes because one day it will be you're turn. Yore turn. You are turn. Goddamn it."

"Have you read the book about the guy who can only ejaculate a virus? It's a classic coming-a-phage story."

"Best Way To Impress a Girl.. Boy To Gym Coach: ""I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?"" Coach: ""Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"""

"Simba was talking way too slow so I told him to mufasa."

"Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible."

"Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig? Pigs don't have red noses."

"How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None, the changes necessary will come from within."

"I don't like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night."

"A boy at church was asked if he knew what the resurrection was. ""Yes, and if it lasts more than 4 hours you're supposed to see a doctor."""