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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] Did I ever tell you guys about my idea for a line of sex toys marketed towards sleazy women? I'm calling it ""Toys for Thots."""

"I don't make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count."

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Man, I wish I had paid for all that music..."

"The minute I even contemplate wearing a white shirt, 11 jars of salsa fall from the sky and spill on it and then it catches on fire"

"WARNING: Big Spoiler Inside! http://www.dswens.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/P1130541.jpg"

"Did you hear Miley Cyrus got a new job? Coworkers say she has an excellent Twerk ethic"

"What did the cancerous contractor say to his apprentice? Avoid the insulation asbestos you can."

"What martial art do cows practice? Moo-thai."

"What's pink, bubbling and tapping on glass? a baby in a microwave."

"Just Friends is my favorite movie that shows fat guys how to get out of the friendzone through perseverance and becoming Ryan Reynolds."