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Joke of the Day

"Where is the best place to vacation for Halloween? Galapaghost Islands."

"What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician? With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed..."

"What's the best way to make your wife angry during sex? Call her and tell her where you are."

"Did you hear about the new emo website? www.emo.com/wrists"

"If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board."

"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places... ...My doctor told me to stay away from those places."

"Give a banana to your uninvited house guest. Hold another banana up to your ear. Only respond to questions asked thru the ""banana phone""."

"Democratic debate is in Flint, Michigan ""Would you like some water Secretary??"""" ""No, not at all!"""

"[flash mob in front of me & my girl] [I join in then kneel down gasping] ""Will you.."" ""YES!... YE.."" ""grab me a smoothie from Jamba Juice?"""

"Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her."