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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a vegetable optometrist? A sea cucumber."

"I have now been sober for eighteen months. Not in a row..."

"I'm addicted to glue You just get attached to it"

"""Who'd win in a wresting match? Lemmy or God?"" ""Trick question. Lemmy IS God.""-Air Heads RIP Lemmy."

"Do you smoke? Smokers: ""Yes."" Non-Smokers: ""Never have, never will."" Stoners: ""Smoke what?"""

"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk' to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill."

"How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee-mail!"

"what do they call a hot looking girl who will love you and stay devoted to you forever? let me know once you find one"

"The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?"