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Joke of the Day

"How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee-mail!"

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"Bad is accidently sending your buddy a dirty sext intended for your girlfriend. Worse is getting 'lemme think about it' for a reply."
"My friend told me ""the first stage is grief"" ""Isn't it denial?"" I replied. ""No, not for me"""
"What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch? Matt"
"No thanks, Party Casino; if I wanted to gamble when watching porn, I'd start the video with the volume on full and my door wide open."
"""God I wish I was riding a dinosaur right now."" - My brain, circa now."
"Science teacher: What happened when electricity was first discovered? Fred: Someone got a nasty shock."
"BREAKING: Man arrested for owning a waterbed. Police reported that ""it's not really illegal, but a waterbed in 2014? That's just creepy."""
"""Is that the guy who doesn't know how to use the word poignant?"" Yea shhh he's coming over here THE GUY: hey guys! long time no poignant"
"I haven't slept for ten days... ... Because that would be too long."