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Joke of the Day

"What did the depressed dolphin say? I need a porpoise."

"What do pigs like with chow mein? Sooey sauce."

"Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off."

"I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead"

"Gay bashing is terrible but gay dashing is just how we get from place to place."

"Where does Batman go to get a haircut? Batman-do"

"Did you guys hear about the homeopath who forgot to take his meds? He died of an overdose."

"*watching The Revenant* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* Him: What are you doing? Me: Taking notes for when I fight a bear."

"Those ""Run Hillary, Run!"" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!"

"What do you call a group of racist mathematicians? The K^3"