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Joke of the Day

"My wife fell asleep during American Idol, so I got up like a fat ninja and turned hockey on. Then, I whispered to myself ""I run this house"""

"What is the politically correct term for Mexicans? Human Beans."

"What do you call a dock that lost it's cock? A TRANSport"

"The only way to score with a robot Is to get it in the mode"

"Did you hear about Jon Snow dropping his new Apple product? And now his watch has ended."

"I've found that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... Until you try to flatter someone in a wheelchair."

"What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love? Yeah you like that you dirty pore?"

"The difference between 4Chan and Reddit. http://www.wwwdotcom.com/"

"A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for the Abandoned Children's Home...so I gave him my kids."

"[Works when you say it]. The best part about having sex with 28 year olds is that there's 20 of them"