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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Jon Snow dropping his new Apple product? And now his watch has ended."

"I meant to type : You're dear to me. I actually typed : You're dead to me. Losing friends is easy."

"Never answer knocking at your door. It's always people. Always. Never giant chocolate bars. Only people."

"*gives up seat on bus for an old lady* *whispers in her ear* ""This isn't over"""

"I went to a Stevie Wonder concert last week and it was terrible. They moved the piano and forgot to tell him."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... I can't put it down."

"Why are there so many avenues in Belgium? Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow."

"I've made the front page 5 times! The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private."

"My neighbor was going out of town and asked if I'd feed their cat. I said sure... ...to what?"

"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......"