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Joke of the Day

"I've found that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... Until you try to flatter someone in a wheelchair."

"I like my dates like I like my women... ...across the street and unaware that I'm watching!"

"Do you ever wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say, ""My God, I look like a pillow"" ? If so, that's not a mirror - it's your pillow."

"What does the average male have in common with a Velociraptor? They both have a six inch retractable claw."

"What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans? Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today."

"My wife and I recently became feminists But since I'm a guy I'm a little better at it than she is."

"What do you call a monkey with a stick of dynamite up his ass A ba-boom."

"Test boast, please ignore. I just hacked my friend's reddit account."

"What do you call a gay town in New Mexico? Albuqueerque."

"What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer after there's no more Job's"