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Joke of the Day

"How does a mustache support his family in the event of his untimely death? By investing in a shavings account."

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"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Peace Prize? He was out standing in his field."
"""For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction."" - Newton's law of the Internet"
"Clinton is so crooked... She needs a Kaine for support. (Credit to: /u/medically)"
"What do you call a ship that drives itself? Auto-pirate."
"So a gay guy just bought a house... He is now a Homowner"
"The US Defense budget is 40x bigger than NASA's. It's surprising we actually went to the moon instead of blowing it up."
"What's green and has wheels? A Pickle and I lied about the wheels."
"A list of compelling arguments regarding the existence of God."
"Did you hear about the Irish monster who went to night school to learn to read in the dark?"