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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like just like my cars 12 years old and made in Japan Edit: Made in the 90's and topless in the summer?"

"The wall clock at work seems to be stuck on half past f*ck this sh*t o' clock."

"Anybody ever taken a Billy may's poop everytime you think it's over it's like but wait there's more"

"A couple friends and I are opening a chicken wings restaurant called the ""Right Wing Cafe."" We don't actually sell any wings, we just complain about other wing places."

"The Little Mermaid was a hoarder."

"Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves."

"Saw my neighbor walking down the street with a case of beer, I said ""That for me?"". He said ""I got this for my wife"", I said ""Great trade!"""

"This chicken is so moist, what is your secret? I squeeze a little KY Jelly into its cavity before heating."

"This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'."

"*Sees son doing homework* What u doing? ""Math, it's due Friday"" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u"