60934

Joke of the Day

"The wall clock at work seems to be stuck on half past f*ck this sh*t o' clock."

"Day 20. Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy Leg Man."

"USDA approves shipment of marijuana-fed cows' beef Analytical studies show that the steaks are high"

"Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games? Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10."

"What Does a Mexican Say When You Help Him Off the Lawn Gracias"

"A couple in therapy The wife: ""I'm just tired of him getting sayings wrong."" The therapist: ""Do you really do that?"" The husband: ""Oh, cry me a table!"""

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture."

"How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas? Tarrif-ied."

"Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?"

"A guy told a story about a creeper who got too close to him in /r/minecraft. It blew up. I'll show myself out."