191854

Joke of the Day

"Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves."

"Skunks are just mean cats with asshole powers. Get it?"

"Why didn't the tree like to play checkers? Because it was a chesnut tree."

"Don't blame me for acting like a baby, I was born that way."

"Tomorrow: The best labor saving device of today."

"I'm not normally a name-dropper but Tiger Woods asked me to start his car in the dream I just had."

"Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent and appearance suggests that you hail from the southeast."

"What do prostitutes work for? Incum"

"What does a Mermaid bring to math class? An algae-bra."

"My dream car is just Shaq dressed like a fireman carrying me everywhere like he just rescued me from a burning building"