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Joke of the Day
"""Um, thanks?"" -A woman who posed for a Picasso painting"
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"Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing."
"What's long and hard and fucks old people? Osteoporosis"
"If you get a divorce in Arkansas... ... is she still your sister?"
"Nothing better than shutting the door and jerking off after a long day And it's even better if the uber has heated seats"
"Was shopping at Target the other day.... ...and thought...If a terrorist was gonna attack...This would be the perfect target"
"Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class? He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution."
"what do you call a closet full of lesbians? a liquor closet"
"Pluto is 4.5 billion years old, but yet it is not allowed to sit at the grown-ups' table."
"The Water Fight Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids. I won! No one's a match for me and my kettle."