4320

Joke of the Day

"""What are you doing? Are you writing down everything I'm saying?! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG?!?!"" -anyone dating Taylor Swift"

"What did the homeless prostitute's boyfriend call her? his hobo"

"I put on my pants just like you, reluctantly, when the doorbell rings."

"I was going to make a documentary about my sex life but somebody else snatched up the rights to the title. TROLLHUNTER"

"Stop asking me to vote for your kid in contests. I'm too nice of a person to tell you I'm surprised you got laid in the first place."

"What's the turnover rate for pornstars? 100%"

"What's the number ten's favorite Spanish phrase? Diez mio!"

"Rihanna was asked; ""why do you think Chris Brown was denied a visa in Australia?"" She replied: ""Beats the hell outta me"" Edit: holy shit front page, thanks guys"

"Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas? Because it was a cloud"

"""Should the cabin lose pressure oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children."""