148900

Joke of the Day

"Me: I haven't tweeted in days. Wife: Oh no! Hold on... *opens laptop *types Wife: Phew! Me: What? Wife: Looks like the Internet survived."

"How are sex and pizza similar? If you get it from someone in a Chuck E. Cheese's it's never very good."

"Did you hear about Charlie Sheens new TV show? It's called Two and a Half T Cells."

"Communists only write in lowercase letters because they hate Capitalism."

"Why did the campfire turn into a forest fire? It wanted to get off its ash."

"what's the difference between BMW and a Porky Pine? The porky Pine has the prick on the outside."

"Pavlov That name rings a bell."

"What did Australian Jesus say after the Last Supper? Check, mate."

"My girlfriend needs an abortion.... And Mexico is gonna pay for it."

"What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes? A sticky Wicket."