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Joke of the Day
"Why is [friend's name] always on the bottom? Because they won't stop fucking up"
Next Joke
"How many Redditors does it take to tell a joke? Two. One to think of it, and another to repost it a day later."
"Damn girl, are you Life Alert? cause you just called the cops."
"What is ET short for? Cos he's only got little legs"
"MOM don't come in I'm watching porn on my phone. just slide the grilled cheese under the door"
"Procedure for being unthanked for door holding: 1. Keep eyes fixed on culprit 2. Say you're welcome 3. Shake head 4. Mutter ""unbelievable"""
"Did you hear Uber and Lyft are merging? They're rebranding as ""Luber: For when you need to come fast!"""
"It's been three weeks since I put superglue on my friend's pen. But he still can't let it go."
"I almost got raped in prison. I beat him off."
"How do you use calculus in real life? You integrate it"