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Joke of the Day

"To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state."

"What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forest1"

"Nothing waters down the word ""ultimate"" like ultimate frisbee."

"Have you seen the features on the next-gen iPhone? Just google 'Galaxy S4 reviews'."

"A group of Germans walk into a BAR... after 20 rounds there are no survivors."

"My pet rock likes to dent people's heads. I don't blame him"

"Before scientists discovered... Before scientists discovered that the ""I before E except after C"" rule wasn't universal, they were called sceintists."

"what's the difference between a loaded potato and a normal one? Someone's a lot less deadly with a normal potato."

"How you can see if a blonde is telling bullshit? Her lips are moving."

"Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark? Professional courtesy."